Donna Dear

The Wedding

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 19:29:37 -0500

The Wedding of Samuel Robert and Amsi Shadai

Several people have asked about it and here it is, the wedding. It was a special time full of memories. Our hearts are still so full of everything that has led up to the momentous event in their lives. And getting to have family and friends come in for the wedding is literally icing on the cake (which was rich fudge, by the way). Here are some of the photos from our visit...

The Blue House

Frida Kahlo Museum

Thursday night Christina and Vern...NO...it's really Tylor playing a trick and planning the BIG surprise, fly in! What fun!

Tyler and Christina

The Metro

Does everyone have change for your metro ticket? Mariann acted as hostess/tour guide for the group on Friday. Friday night we all went out to eat tacos. It was like we were having a rehearsal dinner of sorts, only without the rehearsal.

Wedding Guests

Sunday afternoon was the perfect time for the Turibus and a lazy drive around the downtown area of Mexico City.

Turibus

P6150026

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Multiple Choice

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:51:29 -0500

The following video was taken:

a. at a clandestine meeting of the rebels in Chiapas

b. at an uprising against the government in the Zocalo

c. at the Polytecnico University

P6070065

Answer: At the Polytecnich University. These are chemistry students who have just completed their years of work and will be receiving their degrees in a few days. The tradition is that the chemists sew together their lab coats, hang the BIG lab coat from the building, have a party, then burn the giant lab coats (one for each class) as they dance around the bonfire. Sam reported that they began chanting things about graduating but gradually changed to, "We're unemployed! We're unemployed!"

On a more sober note, here's a photo of Shadai on graduation picture day taken by Sam. Two days before her wedding Shadai received her diploma. It was celebrated at home with family and friends, Mariann and cousin Emily who enjoyed a delux enchilada dinner prepared by Mamá Elisabet. Viva los Chemicos Bacteriologos Paracitologos!

Grad Photo Session

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Xochimilco

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:40:11 -0500

Pam in Xochimilco

When Mariann returned home in May, she brought her friend Pam home with her. Pam wanted to see where Mariann had grown up and experience all things Mexican. She practiced her Spanish on anything that moved and tasted and smelled everything else. It was fun sharing it all with her and seeing Mexico from a visitor's eyes once again. She fit right into our family, sharing in the Despedida and Wedding shower. The day before she left we went to the floating gardens of Xochimilco in southern Mexico City.

Relaxing Sunday Afternoon

Enjoying the Canals

Xochimilco

Mari and Sam

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First Home

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 14:51:22 -0500

First Apt.

The painting was finished last night. This afternoon the movers are coming to move their few large pieces that can't be moved in the car: a beautiful HUGE black leather sofa (gift of a friend), two bookcases, a mattress (same friend) and some boxes. Several friends have gone together to order their little fridge. It's all coming together. Come Saturday night they should have their first home ready and waiting to receive them.

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La Despedida / Saying Goodbye to Being Single

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:16:29 -0500

La Despedida / Saying Goodbye to Being Single

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Girls Week Out

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Sat, 31 May 2008 21:50:00 -0500

Nuria

Every Thursday morning Nuria Gomez picks me up at 8:30 am to drive through the Mexico City traffic to go to Women of the Word. Two Thursdays ago, she told me that once a year she goes out of town to have some "alone" time to read and write. "Why don't you come with me?"

Well, we didn't get much done in the way of writing, did do a little reading. But what we did do was talk. We talked in the kitchen, in the living room, in the hall, in the car, in Starbucks, in La Trainera (fish restaurant), in the grocery store. We talked in the pool, on the beach and on the rooftop patio, in lawn chairs and in the hot tub. We shared our stories and stood in awe at what God had done in our lives. And asked lots of questions.

"What does one do at a "despedida?"

"How do you spell...a lot of English words. Why don't you choose one sound...just ONE sound for a vowel and stick with it (this was always followed by lots of laughter).

What do you call those flowering trees? bushes? flowers?

How do you say in English...como se dice en español?

Do you know what this fish is in English?

We talked about the difference in how parents in our respective countries think about when a child should leave home. We talked about different customs, what we like and dislike. We swapped stories of our children when they were little and Nuria told me the latest cute thing her grandson had done or said. We talked about them a lot as we were driving down to Acapulco which is something I've noticed that women do when they leave home for even a night away. It's a kind of ritual we do to prepare ourselves for our absence from them, like a long good'bye even after we've kissed and waved farewell. It's like giving ourselves permission to leave for a short time. We prayed for them during the five days were were away and in the end of our trip as we drove back into Mexico City we got the calls giving us the good news that Octavio had passed all his exams to graduate from high school and Nena passed her intense exam that very day that completed her seven years of medical school. I can't think of a better conclusion to this special time we spent together in Acapulco. Thank You, Father.

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Two More Weeks

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Sat, 31 May 2008 21:16:09 -0500

The Hostesses

Things are beginning to happen so fast that I may not be able to keep up.

Tammie and Whitney

May 24, 2008, these lovely ladies were hostesses for a bridal shower for Sam and Shadai in the lovely home of Isiah and Tammie Parnell.

Old Friends

It was lovely, warm, welcoming and delicious! Old friends and new gathered to celebrate the coming marriage of Sam and Shadai.

I shall never forget this kindness. I will never forget the warm welcome Elisabet and Josue received. They were quite nervous beforehand thinking that everyone would

Bridal Shower

be speaking English all afternoon but everyone present was bilingual or knew some Spanish and every guest spent some time chatting with them. My heart was full with the love shown by our friends. To see them enjoying themselves was another gift given our family by our friends.

Pastoral Prayer

Old Friends

Thank you dear friends for your presence, for taking the time to celebrate with our children this special event and the beginning of their lives together.

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Wedding Invitations

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Mon, 12 May 2008 16:24:12 -0500

In Mexico the polite person does not send their wedding invitations through the mail to be delivered by a stranger. You must take the invitation (which is plainly visible in the clear envelope which carries it) to the person you are going to invite. It's very personal and personable. So Sam and Shadai have been making the rounds between his work and her classes to deliver their invitations personally to their invitados. So, when the Gonzalez family gathered the day before Easter for their traditional Sabado de Gloria, Sam and Shadai carried their bag of invitations that had been carefully addressed to the family.

Sabado de Gloria

Josue

What is Sabado de Gloria? It is the day before Easter in Mexico. But in the Gonzalez family it has a double meaning. Back when Josue and his brothers and sister were little his dad decided that they were going to begin a family tradition. Josue's mom's name was Gloria and so for "her" day every year his dad would make something like home made ice cream. But this was so time-consuming that he later changed it to snow cones and esquimos (something like a milk shake). The tradition continued until today all the Gonzalez siblings, their children and spouses and grandchildren and even some in-laws gather to celebrate Sabado de Gloria. Everyone brings food. Someone brings the snow cone syrups and the ingredients for making the esquimos (pronounced es KEY mos). In the back patio there were two solid blocks of ice about a yard and a half high and 12 inches square. They had two "scrapers" and it was quite a feat for the different people to scrape the ice, which ends up in the "handle" of the scraper and is then dumped into a waiting plastic cup (NOTE: if you have any Mardi Gras cups you want to get rid of, I know a group of people who will put them to very good use!) The best scrapers were the older people, of course, although the younger generation, having watched their parents do this for years, tried their hands at it as well. So, everyone eats snow cones, drink milk shakes, then they eat lunch, eat more snow cones and the men and youngsters go to a park nearby and play soccer, come back, and the rest of the afternoon is spent repeating the process.

But in the afternoon when everyone was relaxed and happy (which they always are) Sam and Tio Rene got up and got everyone's attention. Now Sam is bilingual and Tio Rene knows only a few words in English, but they proceeded to

A Match Made in Heaven

pretend like Sam needed a translator. So Sam said a few words in English about their engagement and Tio Rene proceeded to translate and, to everyone's surprise, he translated it perfectly. This went on for about three sentences and everyone was laughing (they dearly love to laugh) each time Tio translated. Then things began to get a little quirky. Sam would say a long speech, turn to Tio Rene, and Tio would say maybe three words (laughter, laughter). Then Sam would say only a few words and Tio Rene would talk and talk and talk in Spanish to more laughter. The further they went the more we laughed as they hammed it up good.

"Translating"

Finally they got the invitations out and Sam said, "So, line up..." and began to call out the names of each family group. Each family or one person representing that family would come up, shake everyone's hands, get their invitation and give "abrazos" (a formal type of hug) down the line.

The "hand off"

And so it went until everyone had their invitation designed by Sam and Shadai with the help of cousin Isaac.

Then you actually get the invitation

You are invited to attend

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Trusting God...Tami Palumbo

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Thu, 01 May 2008 12:15:21 -0500

Cancer, My Teacher

BY TAMI PALUMBO

Robin, Tami Palumbo, Joy

On January 15 of this year I received the most dreaded news from a doctor that anyone can receive, "The cancer has invaded your liver and it is inoperable. We can give you stronger doses of chemo with the hope that it would extend your life some months. But otherwise there is nothing we have to offer you." I have been fighting this battle with breast cancer six and a half years. Only God knows if I am nearing the end. Although it has been a difficult journey, it has been a fascinating one at the same time. God has taught me about His faithfulness, His goodness and His love. I want to give testimony of Romans 8:28 …that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)

Cancer has drawn me closer to God. Hosea 5:15b says…in their misery they will earnestly seek me. Spiritually speaking, I am not the same person I was almost seven years ago. In fact, it all started the summer of 2001. Mike was in CA at the time doing a residency for a doctoral degree and I was in Phoenix visiting my parents along with our five children who at the time were between the ages of 4 and 14. I was given the gift of a week of mornings to myself as my parents took all five of the kids to the VBS at their church. I took advantage of the time alone and spent time in prolonged Bible study and prayer. It was a time in my life when I was dissatisfied with my spiritual life. I felt I was spending more time "doing" than just "being." I remember crying out to God that I wanted to know Him more. I wanted to see His glory. I begged Him to use my life in whatever way to bring honor and glory to Him. I was even praying the Prayer of Jabez. "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory." Little did I know that by the end of August of that same summer I would embark on a new and quite frightful journey, yet one that has allowed me to experience God in incredible ways, to know Him more intimately and love Him more deeply.

Cancer has taught me to practice the presence of God. During our recent LAM retreat, Jack Voelkel pointed out a truth we all know yet sometimes forget, "I am never alone." Weeks before my initial diagnosis, I was leading a study on Psalm 23 with the women in our church. The morning of my needle biopsy, before we left for the hospital, I was rereading the Psalm and praying. I sensed the Lord tell me, "Take my hand, Tami – I will lead you. I will lead you slowly so you won't fall and I don't expect you to go quickly because you don't know the way or what lies ahead. But I will tenderly and lovingly lead you." God has never left me.

My husband Mike has been an incredible example to me of faithfulness during these past years. He has accompanied me to appointment after appointment and treatment after treatment, yet there are times when even Mike cannot be by my side. For instance, during my radiation treatments I was placed in a cold, sterile room and told to lay half-naked on a stainless steel bed with just a small pillow for my head. After my body was lined up according to the infrared markings on the computer, the technicians would scurry out of the room as the foot-thick concrete door closed behind them and the red light would begin to flash "danger radiation." It was a lonely and frightening time for me. One day during my treatment as I was laying there feeling humiliated, I envisioned what it was like for Christ on the cross. I thought that I am in this situation of having cancer not by choice, yet, Christ chose to suffer and die and be humiliated on the cross because of my sins. My heart overflowed with gratitude and I felt God's presence in a powerful way that day.

I have had some of the best praise and worship times as I have had to sit quietly in a cold, dark room to wait an hour for the radioactive material that was injected in me to course through my body so a PET scan could be performed. I have felt his presence in the middle of the night when sleep evades me and my thoughts are racing. Psalm 23:4 has become a reality for me, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."(NIV)

Cancer has taught me that God is sovereign over all things. About six months ago, Mike suggested that I listen to a health report on Fox News. He thought it would be of interest to me. Poor Mike, little did he know how I would react. It was an interview with a woman who had written a book about her battle with breast cancer. There were many similarities between the two of us – our age, the stage and type of cancer when we were initially diagnosed, etc. She flew across country to one of the top cancer centers in the country for her treatment and she had a friend who is an expert nutritionist make up a specific diet for her. Seven years later, she is cured, looks beautiful and has written a book. She is healed and I am not. I began to cry, "That's not fair. She doesn't even have kids to live for." I sobbed that day there in my kitchen as I was preparing our meal. Then God impressed upon my heart. "Who are you the clay to question the potter what I am doing? I can do with her as I please and with you as I please." I had read just a few days before in my Bible reading Isaiah 29:16 "You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "He did not make me"? Can the pot say of the potter, "He knows nothing"?"(NIV)

Jack's words during the same retreat hit a nerve with me as he reminded us not to compare ourselves to anyone else. God has specific plans for each of us. I took it as "Don't be envious of someone else's good health and strong body. God has a purpose for me."

Cancer has taught me about the "sacrifice of praise." I don't remember where I got this quote but I wrote it in my journal last July.

"When I think of a sacrifice of praise, I think of the word embrace. Embracing the will of God, even when the feelings aren't there, is offering to God your heart, wholly dedicated to his purposes. It is believing that, according to Romans 12:1-2, you can prove in practice that God's plan for you is "good, pleasing and perfect.""

We have experienced the sacrifice of praise various times as a family but one time in particular stands out in my mind. Mike and the children were in the Chicago area in August 2005 moving our oldest son into Wheaton College. I was in a natural health clinic in Cleveland, Ohio and I had just found out that the cancer had metastasized to my bones. Up until this time we had been optimistic about the treatment we had chosen to fight my cancer. I traveled to Wheaton to be with Mike and the children. As a mom I was very concerned about how we were going to tell the children the bad news and how they were going to handle it. I had asked many friends to pray for us as we shared this latest development with our kids. The evening after I arrived we sat the kids down and discussed the situation with them. We talked, cried and prayed together. Then we began to sing praise songs in Spanish with Jonathan accompanying on the piano. After a moment, tears were dried, smiles returned and joy was restored and God's presence filled the room. It is easy to praise God when everything is alright. It becomes a sacrifice to praise Him when we don't feel like it. But that is what we are told to do.

Cancer has taught me to surrender completely to God's will. By nature I am a controller. I love to plan and organize and make sure that everything is under control. My parents tell me that when I was in grade school and had to walk the length of our street to school, the neighbors would make comments that I didn't look like I was going to "attend" school instead I looked like I was going to "teach" school.

Cancer is something I can't control. Even though I don't like it, I have to surrender my will to God and say as Jesus said in the garden, "Not my will, but yours be done." I have learned that God can be trusted. In fact since I have taken my will out of the picture, God has been able to do much more than I ever imagined.

Cancer has made me long for heaven. As the disease has progressed, my ability to do things has diminished. I used to be very athletic. I grew up playing softball and running track. I loved to snow ski and water ski. Two years ago when we were in MN for the first winter in 24 years, my family had the chance to learn to snow ski. I longed to ski with them as I sat inside the chalet watching them slip and slide. Yet, unless God heals me, I won't be skiing again until I am in heaven.

This past February, some dear friends paid for us to go to Hawaii for a vacation. As our plane landed on the island of Maui, the pilot said over the intercom, "Welcome to paradise!" I chuckled as I contemplated that this earth is not paradise. Later in the week, as I sat on the beach enjoying the incredibly beautiful view, my thoughts turned to the true Paradise and I rejoiced in the fact that Heaven is a real place prepared for all believers and that it will be even prettier than Maui!

Cancer has allowed me to experience the love of Christ through the body of Christ on earth. I don't have enough room to even begin to tell of the numerous times we have been ministered to by brothers and sisters in the Lord during my cancer journey. From Keila and Kiana Pieters donating their long hair to have a wig made for me to friends sending us on a dream trip to Hawaii, God's love hasn't ceased to amaze me. From churches who didn't know us but took us under their wing anyway and provided for all of our needs because that is what Jesus says we should do. Our lives have been blessed though the love of the body of Christ.

I am feeling well right now. I don't feel like I have a terminal disease. I hope and pray for healing because I feel like there is still so much for me to do here on this earth. But my life is in God's hands. In Job 14:5 it says, "Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed."(NIV) I hope this is not good bye, but if it is I will be waiting for you on the other side and "getting things organized" for all of you.

I would like to conclude with this passage of scripture from II Corinthians 4: 16 – II Cor. 5:1 "Therefore do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands."(NIV)

--Written March 1^st 2008 and shared March 2^nd at LAM retreat.

April 19, 2008

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Trusting God

nobody@vox.com(DonnaDear) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 16:25:54 -0600

Women of TBC

If you asked them what their greatest contributions are these women would probably pause and smile, maybe laugh a little and then sit and think carefully how to answer you. I feel sure that none of their answers would really cover how far-reaching their influence has been in the lives of the many people who have known them, been led by them or just bought groceries in line behind them over the years they have lived in the small town of Thomasville. They probably have no idea how many lives they've touched and continue to touch directly through their lives of service in their community and especially in their church. They have prayed and given and prayed and given time, money, hugs, cards, casseroles, listening ears, letters and advice. They have guided children, young people and young women. They have been my teachers, mothers of my friends, women who I've simply observed over the years. One was my first leader in youth group when I was in junior high (her husband was the first to call me Donna Dear and gave suitable nicknames to my other friends with double initials). One has known me even before I began life in T'ville and I spent so many hours playing on the side while she, my mother and other friends drank coffee (to the point that when I answered that when I grew up I wanted to get married, drink coffee with my friends and let our children play nearby.) And one was the nurse to my doctor from the time I was in second grade to...I hardly know when she stopped being so. She's been there through my broken foot, jammed fingers, mumps, measels and everything else. They have wept with me and rejoiced with me and always give us a warm welcome and a listening ear when we go "home."

Thank you, Father, for faithful women of God who allow their lives to brush up against ours as they go about the business of life and following You. This only pictures a few of them. There are and have been many others that shaped me and allowed me to watch their lives as I grew up. Bless them!

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